The Sadness of Passing

The last pages of this publication contain the names of people who died over the autumn and winter. It is difficult for all of the families and friends to deal with the aftermath of the passing of a loved one. To come to terms with the loss of a brother and sister within weeks of each other is beyond the bounds of what can be expected from the human spirit. Yet the Broderick and Hayes families are having to cope with the tragic loss of Larry and Kathleen who died of the same illness.

Two quiet gentle people who grew up in Kilclare and were very close in age knew some timebefore they passed away that their time amongst family was going to be short. They did not get angry or despondent, but accepted that life for them was ending and spoke freely to their families about what they wished them to do afterwards.
They were not afraid, they spoke to each other about the happy childhood days spent in Kilclare and relived many of life's happier memories.
Larry and Kathleen were diagnosed with a terminal illness on the same day. Kathleen was in her fifty-third year and Larry in his fifty-first. A Porter at the hospital was wheeling Kathleen from the X ray Department when Larry was being wheeled in, as they greeted each other he learned that they were brother and sister.
He was taken aback, never had he in all his years come across anything like this.

Kilclare, and especially the hill side of the town-land is a unique place. There is a great camaraderie amongst it's people, they prioritise the important things in life, a person from there was heard to say one night in all seriousness at a pub in Conna that whatever happened he hoped to God that the cows calving wouldn't interfere with following the hounds or the start of the point to point season.

 

The late John Joe Walsh was often heard to remark that every Monday was a bank holiday in Kilclare. While this might not be strictly true, it pointed to an easier way of living. There are no social or political divides on the hill, you are a Kilclare person and that is that.

It was here in this happy place that Kathleen and Larry grew up amongst many other children. They played in the fields, fed the hounds, and hurling and football matches were played long in to the summer evenings that never seemed to end.
This kind of childhood could not be bought, every mother was everyone's mother, all of the children were theirs and they cared for each child as one of their own.
When people left the hill to marry and settle elsewhere the bond was never broken. Kilclare was always the spiritual home.
Kathleen Broderick met Paul Hayes her future Husband, he was welcomed to Kilclare. They Married in 1973 they moved to their new house in Conna after a while and had five children, twins Vera and Collette, Paul, Carol and Marie. They were a very happy family, Paul and Kathleen were always together. They had a very happy life together.

When Larry became ill, seriously ill, His wife Pauline and children were great to care for him. Kathleen was always worried about Larry, she cast aside her own worries and went headlong in to caring for and consoling Larry's family. She knew that her time was limited, but selfishness had no role ever to play in her life.

One evening towards the end of Larry's life Kathleen went to his bed in the hospital and hugged him , they said "we are both finished and we will go together". It was an acceptance of their imminent passing that was difficult for the families to hear, but was a source of strength for Larry and Kathleen.

Larry died in November, his passing cast a long shadow of despair over the
community that is only now beginning to abate. His funeral was attended by a great number of people, many came to sympathise with a family who were amongst life's quieter folk. They deserved better than this, people commented in an effort to come to terms with what had happened. Life has changed so much for Pauline, Bevina, Amanda and little Darragh.
We can only hope that God will guide them and be kind as the years go on.

Larry was always providing for his family, he was a sound reliable man to do any job asked of him. His second love of course were his hounds. He was one of the main men in charge of the animals based at there own kennels in Kilclare. Pat Hurley was his hunting companion and they loved and cared for their dogs.
How often on a Sunday morning did we all see them before the mounted hunting season began with their Trencher pack of hounds, Tommy, Ann, Martin and Brendan Hurley with numerous youngsters, Larry, Pat Hurley, John Heffernan, James O'Connor, and others too numerous to mention. On their bikes they presented a sporting spectacle as the motley band of men and hounds. hurried through the village on their way to pick up the scent.

Kathleen was at Larry's funeral, sitting in the hall having a cup of tea after the burial was exceptionally sad for her because she knew that her time was near. She had no idea then of just how little of life she had left. Some weeks later Kathleen's condition deteriorated Paul her husband and her daughter Carol met the doctor dealing with Kathleen's illness.
Paul asked him how long was left, very little time came the reply.
"Has she months", "no", "weeks", "no", "days", yes". So there it was, their greatest fears were confirmed. Paul went to Kathleen and she asked him before he could explain anything, "how long have I got, you were with the doctor". " Have I a year", "no", " months", "no", " don't tell me days", "yes" Paul replied.
Kathleen words were, "its my time to go, Ill meet my parents and Larry, and I'm not one bit afraid to die". Take care of yourselves, and look after Sean and Shannon. Cook good food and don't eat trash food. I'll be ok". "How will I know" asked Paul, "don't worry, you'll know".
The family had Christmas in the Mercy Hospital Cork, some days later Kathleen passed away with her family at her side. The people she loved most in life were devastated by her death. They are now coming to terms with a life that has changed utterly.

There are no answers as to why a brother and sister died of an illness that took exactly the same path of progression in both of them. People are left wondering how this could have happened to people who always took care of themselves.

Their graciousness in accepting that their lives were ending is surely to be acknowledged by us all. They were leaving close family and friends, the sad fact that they would not meet them again in this life all too real.
Yet from deep within their spirits and with the prayers and goodwill of the wider community God gave them the gift of acceptance which is beyond our understanding, we can only hope that when our time comes we too may be granted this unique grace.

The sympathy and goodwill of the whole community extends to both families. The sadness amongst the people of this parish and far beyond is evident as the passing of Larry and Kathleen is still discussed at length and people look to each other in the vain hope that a reason may emerge as to why.
We do not know why, but maybe in place not so far away at all a game of football is being played on a sunny day that will never ever end amongst people that we may one day be privileged to share a future with forever.

Gerard O'Mahony